The most difficult year of your career is coming. If it hasn’t happened yet, believe me, it’s coming. You might think you’re different. You might think you are immune to adversity. You might think you are on the rocket ship to the C-Suite and blasting off to an IPO and nothing can stop you. You are going to find out that career progression isn’t linear.
Ask any seasoned marketing leader, and they will be able to recount without hesitation, in detail, their most difficult year. The year they got let go. The year they had to stare failure right in the eye. The year that made them question their self-worth.
You will be embarrassed. Even if you felt it coming, you might be in a state of shock. You will ask yourself, “am I really as good as I thought I was?”
As part of many engagements I provide mentorship to junior marketers. They are ambitious, but generally blissfully unaware that the higher they go, the more likely they are to fail. Occasionally, I have to advise a client on making a staffing change that will impact a junior or emerging senior marketer. It’s important to keep in mind that the “best” CMOs aren’t even necessarily all that good at marketing, they are just good at assessing risk.
There is a wash of information about everyone’s career highlights out in the wild, especially LinkedIn, but there is almost nothing about failure. Marketing leaders need to do a better job of talking about and teaching this stuff.
I am writing this to be a practical guide of the things I wish I knew, but weren’t available to me. This will be quite lengthy, but I figure if you are reading it you have probably recently (or in the near future will) come into having some extra time on your hands. Feel free to print it off, keep it for yourself, and refer back to it from time to time if it is useful.
Pucker Up, Buttercup
You don’t know this yet, but this is a right of passage for marketers. It is an expected and critical part of the process. Setbacks, adversity, and loss are all normal in life, career, and sport. This is no different.
Jonas Vingegaard, Tour de France winner, unexpectedly crashed horribly during a routine descent, Aaron Judge, an MLB MVP, made a critical and costly fielding error in the World Series. Heck, even Tom Brady, the greatest NFL quarterback of all time, has lost the Super Bowl (3 times). He says he’s still mad.
You will be mad, too. You will want to give some people a piece of your mind. You may even think about giving up and walking away. Some may feel like disappearing off the face of the earth. It is going to kick you straight in the ego.
Before you go and ship a pile of manure to the office, succumb to the temptation to set your boss’s garage on fire, or board the next flight to Paraguay, you need to take a pause. It won’t be easy, but you need this. You must reframe your thinking.
Your instincts are right indeed, you are not as good as you thought you were. No, you are even better! Because, my friend, you have learned a lesson. You are now more prepared for your next chapter than you have ever been.
I cannot stop this process from happening to you, there is simply too much out of your (and my) control. It is the nature of the marketing profession. But I can help you to absorb the blow, objectively analyze what went wrong, and move on faster with a renewed sense of confidence and love for what you do.
When High Performers Don’t Perform
High performers tend to be very aware of when they are not performing. Despite being able to tell so easily, they handle it differently from personality to personality. Some will retain optimism that they can turn things around, while others will begin to crumble under the weight of failing to meet their own expectations.
They all slowly burn out towards the end. Keep this point in mind, it’s important. We will come back to it.
I can also tell you with certainty that every high performer instinctively detects when “something is up”. The boss is being tight-lipped. Maybe even be a little snappier than usual, perhaps verbally or over text. That new initiative isn’t getting the green light. Peers are being a little quieter than you are used to. There are many signs.
You are not being paranoid. Unfortunately, it is most likely what you think it is. Trust your instincts. It’s coming. Soon. Take a deep breath and do your best to hold your head high.
“The Talk”
This is not legal advice for your specific situation. This is simply anecdotal wisdom. We’ll get to the legal part in a minute, but if you feel a need for that type of advice, go talk to an employment lawyer.
You are usually best to resist the temptation to quit for the sake of saving face. It might feel right in the moment, but keep in mind the person you benefit most by doing this is your soon to be former boss and employer. If you do this they do not have to pay you anything.
Instead, try to calm yourself and mentally prepare. It is not comfortable to be on the receiving end, but, believe me, the person delivering the news will be uncomfortable, too. If you haven’t negotiated exit terms ahead of time (most pre-C-Suite marketers will not), make sure to sit tight and pay attention.
If your boss is competent, they will talk to you at or near the beginning of the week. This is to give you a chance to absorb it and “recover”. You won’t accomplish much for the rest of the week, and frankly no one in their right mind will expect you to. If they have asks of you for transition purposes, it is fine to oblige, I would even encourage you to. But take your time to complete them.
If they violate the unspoken rule and do it at the end of the week, sorry. Do your best to leverage it as an opportunity to shed the most of the shock and adrenaline over the weekend.
There may or may not be a representative of human resources present. If there is, don’t read into it too much. They are not there to judge you, they are there to be a witness. If you are meeting virtually, pay attention to whether or not the meeting is being recorded.
There are varying levels of proficiency with delivering the news. As I have come to understand, a leadership title is unfortunately not a guarantee of high proficiency. The wrong way to do it is to launch into a complex explanation of their decision.
As soon as the person on the receiving end realizes what’s happening, they’re not listening anymore. They’re just being tortured while they wait to hear what they’re getting. Also, the person delivering the news might be unintentionally opening the company up to legal exposure by giving specific, disprovable or potentially illegal reasons. If they make this mistake, try to stay tuned in while your body goes through the fight or flight response. It could end up working to your advantage.
The right way is to give it to ‘em straight, and then move into the details. They may hand you off to someone else for the latter. If they do, again, don’t take it personally.
Is the decision taking effect immediately or are you getting “working notice”? How many months of pay are you getting? Will you still receive benefits? What will happen with unused vacation time? Make sure you understand what is being offered. They will present everything as final, but think of it as their offer. Take notes during or directly after the meeting.
Smile, nod along intently, and when they’re done…thank them for their time and the opportunity. You are a professional with dignity and self-respect. This is the time to put it on display, even if it’s not at all how you feel.
Do NOT agree to anything on the spot. Especially do not sign anything on the spot. If they insist on coming to an agreement then and there, politely and firmly ask for some time to reflect.
If they ask you how you feel, stay as tight-lipped as possible. It is not because they care about your feelings, it is because they are trying to gauge the likelihood you initiate legal action. Especially if you are given working notice you may also find some peers who were being awfully quiet start to inquire about how you are doing. No matter how much you trust them, again, keep your mouth shut.
The Thing About Vendettas
As I said, sooner or later you will almost certainly find yourself angry and tempted to get back at your employer. “How dare they,” you think to yourself. You recall in detail how peers failed or betrayed you (more on that point in a moment). Or you replay how all those things out of your control prevented you from being successful.
These are all normal feelings. Go look up the stages of grief. It does not mean you should act on the feelings. Again, this part should be navigated by way of consulting with a lawyer. Someone reputable and experienced will tell you straight up whether or not you have a case.
My anecdotal take? Think about what your objective is:
Do you really just want your job back? Sorry, the decision has been made. There’s always another gig, one that you will enjoy and perform well in.
Do you want the last word? Your ego is already bruised, my friend, and sticking it to them isn’t going to mean this never happened.
Do you feel you were unfairly held accountable? Little in life and career is truly fair. Where it can get fuzzy is that (at least in most of North America), employers usually don’t need a particularly good reason to let you go. I would suggest thinking more about whether the compensation you are being provided with, if any, is appropriate. On that point…
Do you feel you got stiffed on your severance and want to work towards something better? This may well be worth looking into. That’s where a good lawyer comes in.
Do you feel you were let go in retaliation for something like taking leave and want to seek reparations? Talk to a lawyer immediately. As in, stop reading this and do that right now. Do not hesitate.
It’s not always cut and dry. For myself personally I feel the best use of time is collecting oneself and starting the process of moving on. Seeking revenge out of a hurt ego risks lengthening the amount of time it takes to do so.
I do acknowledge, though, that when something truly unjust has happened, going through a legal process can actually be a requirement for closure. Experienced lawyers will be able to help navigate these things, so if you are in doubt the price of a consult can buy you, at worst, peace of mind.
Every Brady Needs a Manning
Before we move on, one more point on the topic of anger that I have found to be worth talking about. There is a pretty good chance that there is at least one, maybe two, people who you are particularly pissed off at. I mean, really mad.
This might be a counterpart in leadership like a CEO, a CRO, or a sales leader. It could be someone on one of their teams that didn’t prioritize your needs as much as their own. It could even be one of your reports, someone you know well. At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter, it all stings the same.
You may experience feelings that go beyond irritation or frustration. I am talking about rising to the point of physical agitation. You’re not a psychopath or anything, but you might even feel like you wouldn’t be upset if they got hit by a bus tomorrow. This might sound really bad to some, we should not wish harm upon one and other, but it is a real feeling that happens.
You feel they are responsible for what happened. You feel they crossed you or threw you under the bus. If this sounds familiar, you are the first person to experience the emotions. My best advice is to let yourself feel what you need to feel and, without saying or doing anything, allow it to pass.
Over time, you must channel these feelings into something constructive. The thing that you need to realize is that having enemies, believe it or not, can be a way to become a better version of yourself. You might not like it, but they’re actually helping you in the long term. In a few years you might even thank them directly, or just subtly give them a nod.
Think of it this way, they won this round. If you’re worth your salt, and you are, there will be many more rounds. The next time you are going to show up better prepared. Unburden yourself by using this to your advantage. You could view it as extreme ownership, or accountability, it doesn’t matter.
The thing that does matter is you do not carry these feelings with you beyond the wisdom they provide. It is important that you establish healthy working relationships with your future peers, built on mutual respect. Projecting that one guy or gal who really screwed you back in the day onto everyone moving forward is not going to help.
This post will be continued next week. Stay tuned for more…